


In the Dark

by quartzguts



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, Fantasizing, Obsessive thoughts, Post-Kingdom Hearts III
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 10:45:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19828528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quartzguts/pseuds/quartzguts
Summary: When the world is quiet at about 2 or 3 am, and everything else is asleep save for the crickets trilling in the forest nearby, he sits down and thinks about her.





	In the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> written with the assumption that subject x is skuld

\---

There’s a light wind blowing through Twilight Town. Isa’s on the roof of his apartment building, alone. The sky is orange and red as always, but there’s an odd difference between the twilight of day and the twilight of night. The night sky seems dead, lacking warmth despite the streaks of sun coloring it. It’s darker than it is during the day, too. Sitting in the shadow of the taller building next door, Isa feels like he could easily disappear.

He feels like she could easily appear next to him. Come into existence again like she’d never left.

Isa thinks about her sometimes. When the world is quiet at about 2 or 3 am, and everything else is asleep save for the crickets trilling in the forest nearby, he sits down and thinks about her. It’s been so long he can barely remember anything about her other than that she existed - or perhaps it’s less the time and more what’s happened in between that’s affecting his memory. Losing one’s heart, then regaining it, then going through the process _again_ could definitely mess with one’s head. Isa knows he should bring it up the next time he goes and visits Radiant Garden. Ienzo and Even would immediately investigate. They’d find out the truth for sure.

But that thought sends a cold shiver down his spine. Isa may not remember her well, but he does remember the cold press of a lab table against his back, his muscles flexing against restraints, the cool terror of a scalpel trailing down his skin. He remembers one of them - one of the scientists, one of the nobodies - digging it into his face, tearing through the skin and then pushing it back together. Stitching it up once his screaming had become satisfactory. Isa knows there was something corrupting them all then, something that corrupted him, too, but he can’t bring himself to trust them again. Not in a laboratory or a doctor’s office. Not with something metal in their hands, be it a knife or a stethoscope.

So instead he presses his hands against his eyes, hard, and tries to imagine her in the white spots that appear behind his eyelids. Her hair was dark, and long, although one of the six had chopped it off while she was there. Lea had offered to fix it up for her, but she’d said no - too scared that they would notice the difference and interrogate her about it. Her eyes were dark, too, he thinks, but sometimes when he tries to picture her face they turn yellow. Yolk colored. Isa can’t remember if it actually happened, but it’s possible that the darkness had infected her. Being trapped in that dirty cell - trapped in the darkness save for the occasional blinding fluorescents of the labs - could have done it to her. He’s sure of it. He fell to much less, after all.

He and Lea had called her _Key_. She hadn’t remembered her name, and they had to call her something. When they’d found her, she was in her cell muttering to herself, and the only word they had caught was key, or something like it. So that’s what they called her. In private, of course. She never liked the idea of a nickname. Said she’d remain nameless until she remembered.

That’s how Isa feels right now. Nameless.

He sighs and stands up. Goes to the railing to watch the few people wandering around the city at this time of night. The entertainment district, where the bars and partying are, is pretty far from where he lives. The only people out right now are here for the same thing he is; to enjoy the quiet.

There are two women in the street below. One of them is taller, with long red hair. The other’s hair is darker. Isa thinks that if he could merge the two women together they might resemble what _his_ girl looks like now. If she’s still alive. If she exists somewhere.

“Who were, you, really,” he murmurs, eyes falling closed with heavy exhaustion. “What happened to you? How did you end up there? It must’ve been more than just bad luck, coming to Radiant Garden at that time with no memories….”

His thoughts take a distinctly weird turn. They usually do at this late hour, and although he’ll admit to Lea that he thinks of her often he’ll never tell him about these thoughts. He’ll never talk about the way he tries to imagine what she looks like now, how she’d react if he kissed her, how soft her lips would be. He thinks of holding her gently, sliding their mouths together in a way that’s both sensual and romantic. Feeling whole, happy, worth something. Feeling okay now that he’s found her.

In the moment he just feels guilty. Who knows how she’s suffered these past ten years - ten years lost to the world, ten years he was unable to find her - and he’s still nursing a stupid teenage crush. He feels like there’s something gross in thinking about her like this. Something obsessive.

Or maybe he’s fine and that’s just his self hatred talking. He can never tell these days.

He slips his phone out of his pocket and texts Lea. He used to complain about getting texts this late, because he knew it meant Isa wouldn’t be going to sleep until 5 am, but he doesn't bother anymore. He must be used to it. Isa retypes the text a few times before settling on the generic but safe _sorry, not feeling well. have to cancel today. have fun._

It’s very simple: if he goes out with Lea like he’d planned to he’ll have to see Roxas and Xion when they inevitably tag along. Roxas doesn’t trust him yet and will want to be there to watch him around Lea, and Xion will go because Roxas is going. And Isa doesn’t want to see her.

Doesn’t want to see her dark hair. Isa groans and drops his forehead against the metal railing. It burns coolly against his scar.

\---


End file.
